Here we are at the Grand Slam. 7:23 and all is quiet in the theatre, but the reception is filling up as the Yards begins to flow.
7:36 and the doors have opened. It’s destined to be a full house and the early birds will certainly get the best seats…………………..
the house is packed… and they have left no space uncovered by chairs. the front row is close enough to the stage for their inhabitants’ knees to almost touch.. but they appear to be guest judges, so their privileged view goes not unwarranted. the storytellers have been called to their seats across the stage from me. shifting a bit more in their seats then the rest of crowd, gum chewing, anxiously awaiting their time in the spotlight………………….
5 minutes til go time. a little background on the event. for the past 7 months, First Person Arts has been holding Story Slams once a month. Each month, a category was disclosed beforehand, then on the 4th Tuesday of the month, prospective storytellers and interested supporters and onlookers gathered at L’Etage to compete against 10 other randomly chosen from a hat storytellers to compete for the win. tonite- the seven winners will bout it out with stories on the topic of “MUSICAL MOMENTS”……………….
we have begun… thanks to the sponsors… the Tettemer family and Jim Ciaolla, owner of Beaumonde/ L’Etage, and WXPN. Robert Drake is our host. Guest storyteller is Kimberly Auerbach, her new book is “The Devil’s My Lovers and Me”.
It was 1994, when she moved back into her parents house after breaking up with a boyfriend and spends a sad time listening to the Counting Crows. she decides to make a silk painting for the lead singer, Adam. She anonymously sends her painting to him. she sees that he is coming to concert, and wants a backstage pass, but doesn’t get one. She buys a book for him and gets lucky enough to see him on the street, dreadlocks and all. She didn’t mention the silk painting. She did it! She goes to the concert and is in her glory, and then some guy gives her backstage passes. Seedy happenings ensue, and she’s not so sure that she wants to go back when the band manager offers her tickets for the next night. She goes. She ends up meeting Adam. she asks him how he feels about the efforts she has made. she just wanted to let him know that his music touched her soul. he doesn’t understand. but they get into a fight about art.. she cries, she gets into a cab… she doesn’t have enough money. the sympathetic driver turns off the meter, and she is more touched by this man’s kindness, then by the rockstar she put so much stock in.
The rules: The stories must only be 5 minutes. The stories must be true. The stories must relate to the topic: “Musical Moments”. The two guest judges are Jim Ciaolla and Ed Tettemer. 3 more judges will be chosen from the audience. Content and performance will be scored from 1-10.
Naomi Brownstien is first.
She was married then she got divorced. She was lonely and depressed. She missed having someone. She missed having a designated driver. She joined the single gourmet. But she didn’t like to eat that much. She went to a singles bar. It wasn’t for her. She wanted a hobby she could do by herself. Old movies. Next is dance lessons. Once she got good enough, she ventured to “The Stardust Ballroom”. It was in the Pennsauken Mart. It was scary. But when she went in she felt like Dorothy at the end of the rainbow, Frank Sinatra was playing.. and at that musical moment, she knew that she had found her hobby, and that she was going to be ok.
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Up, had to switch places with Jessica who will be taking pictures we’ll post up. They are giving Naomi her scores, which were good!
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Ben Drinen
2nd Story:
A cold November night. The story opens as the storyteller sees a woman on a bench with a box of crayons, drooling–a Philadelphia scene. Some time later–he hears screaming–a woman named Mimi, his friend. Now there is blood–the bottom of Mimi’s feet are bleeding. Hard to liveblog, more like a short story he was reading (not a bad one either!)
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There’s going to be an interactive dance party later! Sounds super fun.
These stories are interspersed with laughs and ahs as the storyteller tells their tales. Some are more rehearsed, some more as if they are reading a short story–the first, Kimberlee Auerbach, it seemed as though you were across the table from her and she was telling you this crazy story about how she was obsessed with a rock star at age 22.
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3rd Story
Thiis story is about Alaska! And sea cucumbers. I think the storyteller is a sea cucumber worker–they ship them to Japan where it’s an aphrodisiac. Uh-oh–he hooks up with Grant. Grant sounds amazing but a lil hard to handle–jack russell terrier that pees on bed, problems with an assemblyman’s wife. He gets on the boat with Grant (he’s a great storyteller–rolling with it) and another guy–and they get hit by a wave the size of a bus. does the boat lift up? there’s a huge crash, the poor guy just wants to get back to Philly. their ship is sinking. Oh dear, I think Grant is singing throughout. the sea cucumbers are lost, they get back to sitka cucumberless. but he’s sure glad of that jack russell when he gets back home safe.
gets very high scores!
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4th story: Rae Ann
Then this young woman gets up, she’s real funny, telling about where she went to high school and how it was hard to pronounce. It’s fun when they’re like telling you a funny story about themselves and really engages the audience kinda like (more intimate!) comedy. Now she’s in the chorus in high school and they’re singing jingle bells. Her and her friend in high school used to sit at the lunch table with Brandy, a girl who didn’t have tourette’s but did yell out WHORE and also had a seizure disorder. Mrs Dave is the choir teacher and she is wearing a lime green outfit and has yellow hair. Brandy is like eyeing this person. Whoa then she is having a seizure. I am not really sure what is happening but it’s totally hysterical, i think it’s at a christmas party with a band. Oh sorry, it’s a high school chorus recital. she gets the time knock, she’s like, i mean, really there is no end, it just kind of keeps going on like that and everyone is laughing because she’s so funny.
she gets super high scores.. oh wait except for from one judge.. 6.5! the crowd boos.
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5th story: R. Eric Thomas
He is standing on stage in front of a crowd of drunk lesbians.. his underoos are riding up?
So he starts to sing.. He says he dresses like Justin Timberlake after all, and he black.. so you know they do that… except no Eric.. not usually. Oh…. he’s at Karaoke.. good suspense. Karaoke at Sister’s, thus the drunk lesbians. He’s singing Tina Turner and the song is over.. and he does the Tina turner 19 spin, spin. He feels like Tina in gold stiletto boots. When he came to himself.. he couldn’t find his shoes and he was having an asthma attack.. and he realized he was singing and dancing in front of god and everyone. now he doesn’t keep his musical moments inside anymore.
the crowds are booing the judges 7′s.. getting rowdy.. oh there are some 8′s and 9′s…
our first 10! things are getting exciting!!!!!
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6th Story:
Juliet Wayne
For her 24th birthday her friends and family got together and put her in rehab for heroin addiction. No one will talk to her.. and then the nurse takes away her walkman because she’s being anti social. She befriends her roomate, Margaret, a middle-aged woman from the bronx because she appreciates her vocal battle with constipation. They bond.. by gossiping about other people, especially Renee… she wears tight pants and its not pretty.. they have a word that I don’t think i can repeat on this about all that stuff tight pants reveal. They use the clock radio to drown out their gossip from the hallways. There are community meetings at the rehab. Margaret and Renee have a falling out. Soon after Juliet is rushing back for 5 o’clock gossip time with Margaret.. only to find that all of her stuff is gone, Renee ratted her out for stealing. All that is left is the clock radio, wrapped in blue cellephane on Juliet’s pillow.. and she never saw Margaret again.
Julie gets very high scores to resounding applause. Her story was very funny and she got super into telling it.
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Ingrid Weiss: Last Story
In 2001 she moves to Bosnia..in her youthful idealism thinking she’s going to save the world. she’s lonely bc no one will talk to her, and she starts going to the market to buy CDs. Shee meets this guy and they have the kind of romance that you have when you don’t really speak the same language. Like he makes her coffee and 6am and he’s a good kisser. Cher is their translator. They bonded over music, but Kasimir (her man) only liked bosnian folk music–he takes her to an American music dance club. She’s thinking maybe it could work, she could stay, and milk cows and live in the Bosnian countryside. Then Prince comes on and she starts dancing–but she’s the only one. And Kasimir is standing there with a big smile and shouts I love you. But really she knows in her heart that it’s not gonna work out and really she’ll just go back to America alone–despite the coffee at 6am and the tender bosnian moments–A story about finding love in another country but knowing you have to leave it and go back to your own.
Pretty decent scores. A large round of applause for all of the storytellers.
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10:11pm
So now we find out who wins! It has been exciting with a couple of great, funny, heartwrenching stories. The MC has been interspersing shorter stories throughout–telling the stories of people who’d also submitted stories to WXPN on the Musical Moments theme.
They’re pulling out the crown….a bunch of whispers as they tabulate the scores…
Brendan Jones wins for presentation…and wins an envelope.
For content…RL Thomas! He does the Tina Turner spin!
And for all of Philadelphia overall best storyteller in the Grand Slam: Juliet Wayne! She gives the MC a big hug and there’s lots of appreciative applause from the audience including one woman who is extraordinarily excited and screams her head off. Juliet talks, and says that this is her biggest accomplishment, telling about her failures, and everyone laughs.
Thanks to everyone who made this a great event, and some very talented storytellers! Let the interactive dance party start….
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